Queer Dating Apps: How to Stay Safe and Find Meaningful Connections

Y’all, by now, we are all well-versed in the basic safety precautions of online dating. Meet in a public place. Don’t get too drunk or high. Make sure a friend knows where you’re going so you have an exit strategy. 

These precautions are undeniably important, but dating as a queer person comes with its own set of risks and challenges. Queer, trans, and non-binary folks have to be extra careful about meeting up with strangers in-person. Unfortunately, some people pursue queer dating apps for nefarious reasons, and red flags aren’t always easy to spot. 

Here’s how to stay safe on queer dating apps so you can find the love and respect you deserve:

Know What to Watch Out For

Anyone who’s experienced online dating knows that not everyone who expresses interest has your best interests at heart. Someone could be messaging you because they have a fetish for a certain gender identity, not because they’re interested in you as a person. There’s even a chance that this person isn’t who they say they are at all and is using this dating app just to manipulate and humiliate queer people. 

A few signs that your date doesn’t have pure intentions:

• They keep asking about your sexual preferences or aspects of your gender identity.
• They ask inappropriate or overtly explicit questions, especially as someone you’ve just met.
• They make comments that objectify queer people.

Look At Your Date’s Social Media Profiles

If you’re ready to meet in person, it’s highly recommended to research your potential date on social media and get as much background information as possible. What do their photos say about them? Is there key information missing from their profile? Looking at your potential date’s friends or followers should give you an idea of how authentic their profiles truly are. 

Video Chat Before Meeting

Another safety precaution to consider when online dating is actually innate to who you are: trust your gut. If something feels off, walk away. You don’t need to give the date a specific amount of time, or to sit in an uncomfortable situation just to “get through it.” If the vibe is off at any point, it’s time to move on. Give yourself permission to put yourself first. 

If They Suggest a Place to Meet, Ask Why

Just like any online dating experience, be sure you prioritize your own safety. This means, if your potential date suggests a place – if you are unfamiliar with it, ask a few probing questions as to what they like about it or why they are suggesting it. You don’t have to be the FBI, but questions like “Oh, I’ve never been there, have you? What do you like about it?” or “What’s the vibe there?”

Dating apps are a great way to meet like-minded people from your community. Though it might take some patience and time, you can eventually find someone who will give you the love, happiness, and respect you’re looking for. 

If you need someone to talk to about your concerns with queer dating, reach out to me at Blue Pearl Therapeutic. Navigating the dangers of online dating can be difficult and frustrating, but you don’t have to do it alone.