Mental Struggles that Keep You from Getting an Erection and How to Overcome Them
The struggle is real… I mean it… I’m not being facetious. There can be several struggles that can be affecting your erection. So let’s go over the most common and a few ways to address it.
Stress…yes stress. Regardless of age, stress can be a factor in any erectile issues you experience. I see quite a few men in their mid-twenties in my office because they have noticed issues with their erections while physically they are completely healthy. Stress that consumes our mind leaves no room for sexy thoughts (erotic fantasies) which is vital for an erection.
What to do? Leave work at work, Bro. I mean it. If you are staying late, driving home thinking about work, checking your email during dinner, thinking about work during your night shower, and checking your email one last time before bed – when the hell are you thinking sexy thoughts? When your loved one reaches for you it’s either difficult for things to rise to the occasion or you may find yourself going limp if you even make it that far.
Quality of relationship. If you truly are not happy in your relationship it can show itself through your penis. Moving on emotionally from your relationship can in fact take your erection along with it. This can also be a sign of how attracted are you really to your partner. The emotional and physical are important.
What to do? Take a good look at your relationship. Are you putting in your part? Are you engaging with your loved one? When was the last time you put an effort in being in your relationship? If your love really has changed physically get to the bottom of what happened and start to focus on the things that still move you. Eyes, skin, body heat. Make the effort.
There’s someone on the side. If your mind is on someone else that really gets your engine going, your partner at home may not be as stimulating for you. Eroticism in affairs is very real and very strong, because it’s not real life. You get to experience them only in your “no real life attached” world. Also, you may not have any “juice” left. If you saw your lover yesterday or this morning, then you may not want to put the effort to be with your partner later today.
What to do? You get to make a decision. Do you want out? Do you want to stay in your relationship? Figure it out… what is it that you’re not getting in your relationship? What are you getting in your affair? See a therapist if needed to really find the root cause.
An overuse of Porn. I have talked about this many times – porn can affect your ability to get and maintain an erection. I see men from age 20 all the way up into their 60’s and 70’s struggling with porn-induced ED. Yes, it’s a thing. And it’s far more common that anyone wants to admit – or even know.
What to do? Get off the porn… not “get off.” I mean remove it from your life. It will be a transition for many. And it can still take some time for things to get back to “normal,” but if several weeks go by and still a no go… then see a Sex Therapist to assist you.
These are just some of the common ones. There’s a whole list of contributors. It also never hurts to see a urologist to give everything a good look.
As Always,
Gabriela