February 29, 2016
Yes… I really am asking the question. It’s the last Monday of Februarious (yes, I have spelt it write… refer to my previous blog posts) and if there is one thing I would love for you to cleanse out of your system (guys I am talking to you too, in a way) is to let go of not loving your Vulva.
My favorite chair is really speaking to me today!
I’m reclining and relaxed watching the squires fight again over some almonds I left in my back yard (I just love squires).
So let me tell you what happened to me this AM to lead me to ask y’all this question.
I went to pick up a bite of breakfast and inline in front of me is a 30 something lady talking about her weekend with a pal on her cell phone (totally heard everything… this is Miami people talk loud). She started to chat about her date on Saturday night (I’m thinking it was a newish relationship, I could be wrong, but that doesn’t matter). During the conversation she stated how she hates it when she’s asked or told to touch herself during sex and how she thinks that it’s “gross and why do I have to do that” and so on. This went on for a while and finished with her saying “I should not have to do that… its gross! He should know what to do down there… if I have to search for it then what kind of guy are you?”
Yup! Good Morn’n Monday! I thought to myself… No No NO! Why would the most sacred part of you not be all the RAGE for YOU! UUuuuugggghhhhh…
I get it… we have been told by almost everyone that its ugly, dirty, and gross. I mean there is a whole industry out there driving down the message that our vulva and vaginas need to be made up and packaged to be socially acceptable. We have been told that by media, beauty companies, med spas (vaginal steaming anyone?), and our parents (remember their face when they had the talk about your body), and even the language that we use. Junk, nasty’s, beavers and so on.
This needs to change… why? Well, this can cause a barrier for you to accept and truly let go when in a sexual experience. I mean are you going to be relaxed if you are thinking your vulva is just nasty? Its NOT junk, its your vulva.
So when was the last time you really learned about or explored your genitals? 5th grade? Your last Sex Education class in high school?
Get yourself on Google or Web MD and look it up. Each part, each flap of skin, each bump, everything… I want you to know the names and functions and why this is the best thing since… well… day one.
Go further… when you learn what the functions are I want to think about how sacred that is and WHY THE HECK IT FREAKS SO MANY OUT. No, really… go deep. Like why the fluid and components of the fluid? Odor? Why the colors? I want you to look at this like and adventure in discovery.
Next, look at yours… take a picture if you need to (then delete it)… compare it to what you have seen online. Do this so you can see how they are the same but uniquely different. Heck if you want to make this a bonding experience have your gal pals over for some wine and compare pictures!
I also want you to touch it… all parts. Get in there with a mirror to. Rub, caress, pull, spread, and if you are up to it you can climax if you want.
While you are doing all of this your vulva and vagina will talk to you. They talk through sensations, changes in color, fuzzy feelings may emerge. Listen… and take your time. Don’t be afraid to move things around, open up layers… move YOUR labia! She will not bite…
So I really want you to try this. I want you to connect with the beauty of your body and how fantastic, sacred, and amazing it is. It doesn’t matter the age you are… discover or reconnect with yourself.
As always I hope I have inspired you to connect with your sensuality…