A Sex Calendar: Making Time for Your Partner
Hold yer britches… I can hear y’all screaming! SCHEDULING SEX???!!!! That’s gross… its not spontaneous!
I agree. Its not spontaneous. It’s the opposite of spontaneous, it’s scheduled. So, why would I even be talking about such a hideous and heinous act? Sometimes it’s a necessary evil in order to keep spontaneity in sex at different stages of our lives.
Different stages of our lives? Yes. When we are new parents or parents for the second or 3rd time, our lives get super complicated and busy. When we have work schedules that consume a lot of time. When we have all these other constraints on our time several things happen. We get mentally tired, physically tired, and preoccupied in accomplishing all the tasks that work, kids, and extra curricular (social life) demands on us that sex, sexy time, dating our loved one is one of the first things to get sacrificed.
When sex, sexy time, and dating get sacrificed, sex becomes less of a thought, less of a priority, and we initiate it less and less. That can lead to a partner to feel physically and emotionally abandoned, sexual frustration, loss of sexual interest, and things can look greener on the other side of the fence; which can open the door for some form of infidelity.
All not good things. This is the kicker though. We actually have always been scheduling sex with our partners more often than we thought we ever have. In the past, we would think to ourselves, “Oh this Friday we are going out and afterwards we come home and have sex! Yay!” Or “I get to finish up this project this week and then its game on this weekend! So don’t plan anything! (Sex included)” We were scheduling sex/intimacy in advance in our minds and expectations of how our time would be used. Then 9 times out of 10 we had sex on Friday or over the weekend. The only difference here is that we are being a bit more proactive about it.
Being proactive about it in this way can reduce rejection, reduce allowing sex to go days and days or weeks and weeks with out it happening. Helps each person anticipate and help themselves get ready emotionally, physically to be available. If we are going to have sexy time on Thursday night I am not going to make a 5 lb. lasagna for dinner and have belly bloat that will kill sex. Make sense?
The bonus is that if we are having sex at this busy stage at least once per week. Sex will be on our mind, we will think about it more, we will crave it more, we will seek our partner outside of the schedule which will keep spontaneity alive.
Give it a go! What do you really have to lose? The only thing you lose really is less… sex.
Leave a Reply