What to Expect in Your First Sex Therapy Session

Okay, y’all – if you’ve gotten to this blog that means you are curious about, if not already considering, sex therapy. Let me be the first to offer my congratulations. This is a big step! One you should be proud of. 

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that pat on the back out of the way – let’s talk about sex therapy.

First off, as a board-certified sex and intimacy therapist, my job is to ensure that you have a safe, comfortable environment to share your thoughts, concerns, desires, obstacles, kinks – you name it. 

There are plenty of misconceptions and misrepresentations of what sex therapy is. While there is a good deal of talking about sex in my office, sex therapy is a form of psychotherapy or talk therapy that focuses on human sexuality and one’s experiences around it – both emotionally and physically. 

The TL;DR version of that is that sex therapy is a form of talk therapy for individuals and couples that are seeking help from a board-certified professional in sex and intimacy issues. 

Why would someone decide to see a sex therapist?

Many people opt to see a sex therapist when they are experiencing “issues” with sex or their sex lives. Some of the most common reasons that lead someone to my office is erectile dysfunction, vaginal pain, past sexual traumas, infidelity in a couple, low libido, lack of sex in a relationship, couples with different sexual needs or desires, a couple trying to get back into having sex after welcoming a baby, and so much more. 

But sex therapy isn’t just for people who are facing “problems” but also for those who may be seeking to expand or explore their own sexuality or identity. This includes people who may be transitioning, those looking to date in the LGBTQ+ world for the first time, people ready to let go of childhood shame surrounding sex. 

Sex therapy is a great space for those looking to explore identities, relationship dynamics, non-monogamy, or – yes – even kinks. And while sex-related discussions can be part of your ongoing or focal work with your sex and intimacy therapist, you may also simply want to learn how your own sexual health and identity can impact your life more broadly.

What Not to Expect in Your First Sex Therapy Session

Off the bat, this probably should be said – you shouldn’t be expecting sex. That’s not what sex and intimacy therapy is. Again, sex therapy is a form of psychotherapy with a board-certified sex and intimacy therapist. Meaning – I’m a professional who is here to guide you on your own journey, and nothing more. 

And you probably shouldn’t come in expecting instant results. While I do believe in creating tailored plans for clients that focus on having a start and end-date, we also need to be realistic that change takes time. It also involves work from you …

What You Can Expect in Your First Sex Therapy Session

Alright, y’all – here’s what you can expect: an open, inviting and honest space to discuss your concerns, interests, traumas, and more. 

We’ll start by talking about what drove you to seek out sex and intimacy therapy. Ideally, in our first session we will have an idea of what your goals are and we will identify any obstacles that we may already be aware of. 

For some, we may find that there are additional medical professionals we need to involve in your care plan – for example, some men experiencing ED may need to speak with a Urologist or women dealing with vaginal pain may need to talk to a pelvic floor specialist. 

We will create a plan that works for your goals, and we will revisit that plan each session to see how things are progressing. 

You may also receive occasional “homework” or items and challenges for you to work on during your own time. Everything, of course, is optional but it will help your own process, so I encourage you to take on each assignment. 

Typically, my clients leace their first session feeling empowered. It’s not often you realize that you don’t have to feel shame or embarrassment over seeking sex therapy, and having a professional to turn to can help alleviate any stress that had been building up from not addressing issues that were weighing on your mind and/or body. 

If you have any questions about sex therapy or what to expect in a typical session, go ahead and get in touch with me today. I offer FREE 15-minute consultations, so don’t hesitate to reach out whenever you’re ready. Let’s see what your path will look like.