The Rule of Three
If you have been reading my blogs for a minute you have probably noticed I discuss lots of tips, tricks, strategies, and rules that can assist your sex life and relationships in various ways.
For many, applying one or two of these things works very well and they see rapid improvement. Some others may need to apply ALL of them to reset, revamp, or simply address the stage of life and love that they are currently in. Whatever it may be for you just use what fits well and can be used consistently.
Today, we’re going to go into one of my more commonly given pieces of advice for those who come through my door (or zoom door, for that matter): The Rule of Three.
The Rule of Three is a little trick that I developed many moons ago. This trick is to help reduce 1. Rejection
2. Lack of initiation
3. Duration without sex on the daily menu, and
4. Duration where the responsibility of sex falls onto mainly one person to initiate
So here is the nitty gritty on The Rule of Three. And for it to work, each person in the relationship will need to adopt and apply this methodology.
Step 1. Know Your Options When Sex Is On The Menu
When it comes to sex in your relationship, you really only have three options on your plate: you either (a) approach and initiate sex, (b) lovingly decline the initiation or (c) lovingly accept the initiation and ba-da-bing ba-da-boom.
Step 2. Introduction to Your Rotations:
In order to reach a comfortably pleasing outcome for all parties, and to follow the rule of three properly, you are encouraged to Approach your lovey twice, Lovingly Decline once, and Lovingly Accept twice.
Step 3. Step 1 and Step 2 are on a 2 week rotation. That means in 2 weeks you have approached your loved one for sex 2x, and accepted from your lovey 2x, and maybe lovingly declined 1x. So that puts us at a probability of sexy time of 2 to 3 times a week. Not too too bad!
Step 4. If you lovingly decline an approach from your lovey then within the next 24 to 48 hours the ball is in your court to approach your lovey for sexy time. Why? Because a decline for sex is often felt as rejection for your partner – and rejection can fester. That’s the goal of the Rule of Three – to encourage and showcase your affection while minimizing the fear and feelings of rejection.
Rules: Sexy time means just that. A sexy, sensual time together. It can mean cuddling, oral sex, intercourse, hand stimulation of each other or one person, sensual massage, naked kissing in bed, naked twister! Whatever, as long as it is physically and emotionally connecting to develop and maintain our sexual connection.
It is that simple. This creates a balance between not letting things slip away, not letting things be the responsibility of one person, and gives us wiggle room to decline when life is really complicated.
Y’all got this! Give it a whirl… ya might find that is a simple solution to keep us on track.
As always,
Gabriela