My Partner Caught Me Watching Porn and is Pissed. Isn’t it Normal?

There’s nothing wrong with watching porn here and there. However, unless you and your partner both enjoy watching porn together, it’s something that potentially makes one’s partner uncomfortable. It’s a common feeling to not like the idea of their partner seeking sexual pleasure from an image or video of someone other than themself. 

So, if your partner catches you watching porn, it’s best to not dismiss their feelings about watching porn even if you see it differently than they do. 

Why Porn Is Still a “Hush-Hush” Habit

Your partner is well-aware that you watch porn, like so many other people. But it’s one of those things they’d prefer to keep on the down-low. If your partner doesn’t share your taste in porn, they probably don’t like talking about it, either, or even acknowledging it for that matter. When someone has no desire to watch porn, it’s very difficult to accept – let alone embrace – your partner’s affinity for it. 

And that’s ok. 

What Makes Porn So Addicting?

Porn can be incredibly addicting, largely because it’s so accessible. Watching porn also delivers an immediate surge of mental and physical pleasure.

When something that feels so good is just a few clicks away, the urge to watch can strike at any time. 

Why Your Partner Has Every Right to Be Upset

Whatever their reason for being upset, everyone has the right to feel the way they do about a given situation. Denying someone’s emotions just creates friction in a relationship that complicates matters, often creating bigger problems than watching porn in the first place. 

This is a great opportunity to work on your communication. While it may not be a pleasurable conversation, listen to the reasons they are upset so you can understand where they are coming from. Often, they are worried about the future of your relationship. 

What to Do if Your Porn Habit is Getting Excessive

If your porn habit is hurting your connection with your partner, it’s time to have a conversation and acknowledge the issue at hand (see what I did there?). Sex and intimacy therapy can provide a safe space where you can talk about your porn habit without judgement or shame. Once your concerns are out in the open, you’ll be able to see how porn is affecting your perception of your partner, and how weaning yourself off porn can make your sex life infinitely more satisfying. 

So, please contact me today for a free 15-minute consultation. I’ve helped plenty of couples overcome excessive porn use and strengthen their relationship in the process.