Low Libido in Relationships: Causes and Treatment Options

Even the strongest couples have their share of problems, including in the bedroom. A surprisingly common one – both in men and women – is a dip in sexual desire.

Oftentimes, we are quick to assume that if our partner isn’t interested in sex that it’s about us. That big ol’ rejection button gets hit and our emotions and imagination can run wild with it. 

Now, y’all, before you jump to conclusions as to why your partner isn’t as interested in sex with you as they used to be – let’s break down some of the most common causes. 

Stress: The ultimate mood killer

Modern adult life is unbelievably stressful. It’s so demanding that it frequently requires us to push our emotions aside and just “power through it” so we can get things done without breaking down, crying or turning to substances even (yes, I count wine and magnesium in this list, too). 

Stress tends to compound with age and responsibilities, which can make our days more robotic and less opportunistic for passion. Constantly pushing down your emotions can impact your sex drive. 

When our stress and cortisol levels go up – our libido goes down. Some people do turn to stress as a way of natural relief from stressful situations or mindsets, but oftentimes, people tend to need sleep to recover. 

So, if your lovey is rolling over and knocking out before you get your proverbial and literal socks off – well, consider stress as the culprit. 

How stress affects the male libido 

For men, stress can manifest in erectile dysfunction. Read that again. 

And yes, this can impact young men in their 20s. This is known as non-organic ED, as opposed to organic ED (which is caused by a medical condition or prescription medications). 

Stress-induced ED can create what we call a watershed moment. When stress drives you to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection, you start to stress about sex because and we are kind of stuck in a feedback loop. 

But here’s the good news: you’re not going to be stuck in this feedback loop forever. It just means there are some underlying causes that need to be addressed directly (we’ll get to that in just a bit). 

In fact, stress-induced ED is treatable – oh, and without meds! In fact, sex therapy is one of the best ways to break through stress that may be impacting your erections. 

Helping your partner rekindle their sex drive

The first thing I tell people who are experiencing a change or drop in their llibido is to be patient. We’re only human after all, and stress is not something that goes away overnight. 

So, take it slow and focus on getting yourself or partner back in touch with themselves and their bodies.  

How can you help if your partner is experiencing the libido drop? Take some time to offer small affectionate touches or gestures like touching, kissing, holding hands, or just snuggling on the couch together. Physical touch breaks down barriers with intimacy and sets the stage for more physicality later on. 

Communicate your concerns

Though it’s very important to empathize with your partner, you’re a human being with needs. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it over and over again, communication is key. If you’re concerned about yours or your partner’s drop in sex drive – take the time to talk about it with your lovey. 

It’s not the easiest topic to discuss, but communication is a big step forward.

If you’re having trouble broaching this sensitive topic with your partner, let’s connect. As a board-certified sex and intimacy therapist, I provide a safe space where you and your partner can discuss your concerns, wants and needs. Many people are more inclined to do this with an expert, instead of a friend or even their spouse. Once we get to the root of the issue, we can build an individualized plan for regaining and maintaining a healthy and satisfying sex life. 

Your first consultation is absolutely free: Book a time at here