Sexually Fulfilling Orgasm
December 4, 2015
Ohhh my winter is upon us… at least that is what I am told when I watch the news and see parts of the country under snow. Here in South Florida it’s a warm 82. So this contrast in weather got me thinking about us women and our orgasms… Yes, the weather will pop interesting topics in my mind.
For many women orgasm is a nonexistent friend that rarely visits or never comes over. It’s their personal Yeti. Many studies state that women orgasm about 25% of the time during sex with a partner. Frankly, that’s ok for many women and there is no reason in my mind to place this as a major dysfunction as we are trained to believe here in the west. However… what if you truly desire to have more orgasms… or what if you feel that lack of orgasm disconnects you from your partner or from you as a sexual woman? Lack of orgasm is perfectly fine, if you are satisfied and comfortable, but if you deeply feel that you want and need more, and variations of more then its your birthright to seek it out.
Orgasm does not need to be this elusive Yeti that may or may not have been seen. We are biologically wired for it for good reason. It’s important for reproduction! Now let me be clear before I go on… orgasm is not required for pregnancy. You can get pregnant without orgasm just like you can get pregnant without sexual desire. Given said that, it’s fundamental for promoting sexual excitement. Without excitement we would not want to deal with all that goes on for sex and frankly we would not want sex as often. Less sex means less chances for procreation as a species. Think out about that for a moment… if sex was not pleasurable we would only consciously think about having intercourse just for procreative reasons. Plus orgasm releases, as most of us have heard, oxytocin… mmmm… oxytocin that juicy brain chemical that makes pleasure oh so sweet. It also promotes the ability to relax, trust, and become attached to our partners.
So what happens physically DURING orgasm? Well when we are in the mist of this exiting moment we are just frankly too busy to feel every aspect our bodies go through. Trust me a lot is happening… at the moment of orgasm the uterus, vagina, and anus contract SIMULTANEOUSLY at exactly .8-second intervals. So you may be thinking “but they can be different?” Well yes! YES! Our female orgasms can be different in many ways! We can have small ones that are basically 3-5 contractions to really big ones that are 10 to 15 contractions and everything in between. Don’t forget that the contractions can also vary as well from clitoral, vaginal, or a combination of the two!
If you are happy with your organism “as is” then celebrate it! Whether it’s frequent or infrequent as long as YOU find it fulfilling then great! If you are asking yourself “what is going on! I want more, or at least I want it a bit more frequently. I am not satisfied!” Then there are some things you can consider.
- Clitoral Stimulation is important… It has the most nerves to stimulate. So try alternate positions. Try them more than 1 time. To get the grove of a position takes a bit of practice so don’t give up on a position after 1 or 2 tries at it.
- Get you know your clitoris and vaginal walls. You need to know these parts of you body really well so you can communicate to your love one what, how, and when you feel pleasure. So get out the mirror and start looking around. Start exploring… get to know your orgasmic beauty.
- Your about to orgasm or are starting to feel increased body sensations and your loved one notices and they climax or they change the way they are stimulating you and the stimulation then decreases… This happens often. It’s time to have a heart felt talk with your loved one about what is happening. Your loved one should understand that this is not a criticism of character or performance its just what they need to be aware of so that they can continue the same stimulation or practice holding off on their climax so you can climax first or together.
- Are you “Spectatoring” during sex? Are you so focused on your appearance, weight, sounds that your body is making, or your own performance that you are not even present in the moment and enjoying yourself? Many of us women are guilty of this. We need to let go and relax to enjoy the pleasers our body is experiencing. Relaxation = Sexual Tension = Increased Arousal = Orgasm!
Remember… sexual pleasure is beautiful in all its forms. It brings you mind, spiritual, and relationship benefits. Orgasm is just one of the many ways we can feel sexual pleasure. I hope you are being sexually fulfilled and if not that you are closer to seeking your sexual birthright.
As always I hope I have inspired you to connect with your sensuality.
Gabriela