Why You Can’t Stay Hard During Sex or Otherwise  

Why You Can’t Stay Hard During Sex or Otherwise  

What’s normal?

Just because you occasionally get soft during sex doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong. It could be due to stress or anxiety or the sex you’re having isn’t as enjoyable for you. All those things are totally normal.

Only when it becomes an ongoing and unresolved problem should you start looking for anything that’s wrong. 

Symptoms of ED

There are signs you can look out for if you think you’re having erection problems:

  • Trouble getting an erection
  • Trouble maintaining an erection 
  • Having an erection not firm enough for sexual intercourse
  • Low interest in sex

So what’s causing my ED?

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by a number of things, my lovelies. Some common things include:

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Lack of sleep
  • Mental/emotional problems (i.e., depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, etc.)
  • Injuries
  • Performance anxiety

For younger men, ED tends to be more caused by emotional or psychological factors. For men over 40, ED is fairly common. It’s believed at least 40% of men over 40 years old have experienced ED in some form or fashion.

5 ways to treat erectile dysfunction

Lifestyle changes

For men under 40, erectile dysfunction is more commonly caused by emotional or psychological factors, such as depression, PTSD, and bipolar disorder, among others. For some of these, you may be able to treat the underlying causes by making lifestyle changes such as:

  • Becoming more active (running, walking, stretching, working out, etc.)
  • Quit smoking, excessive drinking and/or substance abuse
  • Stress management with yoga, sports, or music
  • Getting enough sleep and rest


There are a few underlying health problems that can cause ED, such as diabetes, high cholesterol or kidney diseases. If your ED is caused by a health problem like these, medication can possibly be a way to treat the condition and your ED as a result. 

Vacuum constriction devices

aka Penis Pumps. These devices can help you achieve an erection by pulling blood into the penis. These tend to be popular since they cost less than a lot of other treatments and are noninvasive. However, they don’t permanently address ED as the effects only last about 10 to 15 minutes. 


An option that is available but not commonly talked about.. You can do penile implants or have surgery to repair the damaged blood vessels.


Since ED can also be caused by emotional or psychological reasons, counseling can go a long way in addressing the underlying causes. It can also give you a space to talk about how ED is affecting you and your emotions without judgment or shame.

If you think you’re struggling with ED and want a safe space to unpack all the things you may be feeling, contact us at Blue Pearl Therapeutic today to schedule your FREE consultation. 

Let’s work together.


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