When Your Partner Is into The Lifestyle and You’re … Not

Not all couples are on the same page when it comes to their wants and needs sexually. In fact, most aren’t. That’s where good communication comes in – early and often. Now, what happens when your sexual lifestyle preferences are a bit more dramatically different (so to speak) than “I like it missionary, and they prefer it doggy style” or “I like it with the lights off and they like it in the kitchen”? 

What happens when your sexual preferences are more along the lines of “I am into sex dungeons” and they are devout to their religious beliefs and could never consider sex without their shirt on? Well, then we have something to talk about.

Can You and Should You Persuade Your Partner to Explore Your Sexual Needs?

As a sex therapist, this is a question I hear quite often: How can I persuade my partner to do this thing for me? Now, there’s nothing wrong with wanting your loved one to pleasure you in the ways you want to be pleasured. We’re sexual creatures. We want to feel pleasure. Consent is key when it comes to pleasure with a loved one, with any partner. 

The word persuade has some negative connotations around it, as if we are misguiding our partners, or tricking them into doing something they may not feel comfortable doing themselves. Thereby removing the pleasure in it for them. We don’t want that. What we do want to do is find a way where both of you can find pleasure in sex or sexual intimacy. 

A Little Sex Therapy Goes a Long Way 

If you find yourself in a relationship where your sexual interests vary decidedly from that of your partner, rather than forcing the issue – a great course of action is to seek outside help through sex therapy. Based in Austin, certified throughout Texas and Florida, I offer both in-person and virtual sessions for individuals and couples looking to find ways to bridge the gaps between their sexual preferences and interests. 

If you want to learn more, let’s schedule a 15-minute consultation (it’s FREE!) and see how we can best address your concerns today.