I Can’t Keep My Erection with Every Woman I Have Sex With. Is It Me?
Losing an erection every once in a while is completely normal, even for younger men. But based on your most recent sexual encounters, perhaps it feels like you’ve gone from “every once in a while” to “every single time.”
It’s natural to panic in this situation because you don’t know what’s going on. It’s not like you weren’t attracted to their last few partners, or that they did anything wrong.
Is this an early sign of a medical condition requiring urgent attention? Do you now have reason to question your own sexual orientation?
Before you jump to any conclusions, let’s get one thing out of the way: Erectile issues can arise from a host of different factors. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re sexually “broken.”
Exploring some of these factors can guide you to the culprit of your issue.
Stress and Anxiety Can Cause You to Lose an Erection
Are you under a lot of pressure at work? Is there an upcoming event you’re very concerned about? Erectile issues in younger men can often be attributed to psychological or emotional factors like stress, anxiety, or depression.
The stress of adult life in general can make it very difficult to fully relax and loosen up. No one can perform sexually when they’re feeling tense or something is weighing on them day in and day out.
Porn Overuse Can Cause You to Lose an Erection
Another common cause of erectile issues in younger men is excessive consumption of online porn. No, porn is not inherently bad for you, but watching too much of it can literally re-wire your brain chemistry, affecting your reaction to other forms of stimuli.
Watching porn feels good because you’re activating the brain’s pleasure system. When you watch too much porn, your brain becomes accustomed to this quick and powerful surge of pleasure. Porn provides instant gratification, so that’s what you’re used to.
Anything else – like an attractive partner in front of you – seems boring by comparison (not to you, but to your brain’s pleasure system), because it doesn’t excite you immediately like porn.
What You Can Do to Get Erections Back
If you feel that mental health issues could be at play, you may be able to resolve your erectile problems by leading a healthier lifestyle, since the mind and body are directly connected. Examples of healthy lifestyle behaviors include:
- Regular exercise
- Quitting smoking or drinking
- Stress management with yoga, meditation, etc.
- Getting more sleep
In the case of porn overuse, the key is acknowledging how it has affected your brain. Realizing that porn has impacted your life negatively makes it less satisfying, allowing you to gradually consume less and less of it.
Express Your Concerns to a Professional Sex Therapist
If you’re not sure what’s stopping you from getting or maintaining an erection, counseling can help you identify the underlying problem and enact appropriate solutions as quickly as possible. Maybe stress or anxiety have never impacted you to this degree, or you’ve never even suspected that porn could be a negative presence in your life.
Fortunately, sex and intimacy therapists are very familiar with this situation, and they’ve helped many people overcome it. Understanding you’re not alone and voicing your concerns about your sex life out loud are major steps forward.
So, if you just need to talk to someone about this extremely sensitive issue, please contact me at Blue Pearl Therapeutic today.