Am I gay? I can’t keep an erection with my female partner

Am I gay? I can’t keep an erection with my female partner

Things are hardly so cut and dry and sexuality is one of those things. 

Sometimes we perform the parts we believe we should be playing, even within what should be our most comforting, intimate relationships. This can cause us a lot of stress and confusion. 

Having problems with keeping an erection with a female partner could be the result of a number of things, sexuality included. Let’s explore. 


There are signs you can look out for if you think you’re having erection problems:

  • Trouble getting an erection
  • Trouble maintaining an erection 
  • Having an erection not firm enough for sexual intercourse
  • Low interest in sex

3 causes of ED

There can be a number of reasons for why you may be facing ED. Common causes of ED can include:


Erectile dysfunction is common in men with diabetes, especially those with Type 2 diabetes. High blood sugar over a long period of time can cause damage to your blood vessels, causing issues with having or maintaining an erection.


Certain medications can also affect your ability to have an erection. Things like:

  • Antidepressants 
  • Anti-ulcer drugs
  • High blood pressure medicines
  • Chemotherapy
  • Hormonal drugs
  • Antihistamines

Psychological and/or emotional conditions

Erectile dysfunction can be caused by mental and emotional problems as well. For example:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Genophobia (fear of sex and/or intimacy)
  • Low self-esteem

What to do if you think you’re gay

Erectile dysfunction is a common problem for men around the world. But if you think the problem is something else, like your sexuality, then don’t panic. It just means there are parts of yourself that you’ve yet to fully discover and, in my opinion, that’s beautiful.

You can explore this side of yourself by connecting with communities, in-person or online. There are LGBTQ support groups you can reach out to. You can also talk to an individual or couples therapist who can help you navigate these complex feelings.

Growth – getting to know yourself better – can cause a lot of complex feelings. Don’t let shame stand in the way of your happiness.

Get in touch with us today.

We’re here to help and listen.


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