Repairing Trust in Your Marriage after Infidelity

So your partner had an affair. 

It’s a tough position to be in—the aftermath. What should you do? What can you do?

If you want to save your marriage after infidelity, know it’s going to be a lot of hard work, for both you and your partner. It has to be intentional on both sides. From then on, it’s work.

Should you save your marriage?

It’s a tough question. Some people cheat consciously (or unconsciously) as a way to end a relationship. Others may do it because they’re looking for fulfillment or validation elsewhere. Even if you wanted to save your marriage, both you and your partner would have to agree to mend the damage done.

What should the unfaithful do?

Cheating is a massive betrayal. So the unfaithful partner has got a lot of work to do to regain their partner’s trust. The first steps to doing that can include:

• Be fully honest about the affair and answer any questions
• Deal with the traumatic feelings after the discovery
• Must end the affair

As the unfaithful partner, you must be ready and willing to do what’s necessary to regain your partner’s trust in you and in the relationship.

What should the other partner do?

As the partner on the receiving end of infidelity, one important thing you should do is be kind to yourself. It’s not easy suddenly finding yourself in this situation. But if you’re going to save your marriage, there are some things you can do. Things like:

• Express your feelings and use “I” statements, like “I’m incredibly hurt by what you did,” or “I wonder if I can trust you again.”
• Avoid going over events of the affair over and over again
• Find a way to either forgive or accept what’s happened for the sake of moving forward

Tasks for both partners

Both partners should talk about the intense emotions involved together. But you both should discuss them with as little blame, contempt or judgment as possible. It can also help if you both take on connecting rituals, such as daily walks together or eating meals without screens. This can help reconnect a sense of togetherness even after a betrayal like infidelity.

There’s also the therapeutic route. Lovelies, I won’t lie to you, trying to save a relationship after an affair can be a lot of work. Sometimes folks need extra help. Using a therapist as a third space to help facilitate the healing process works if both of y’all are willing to work to repair your relationship. 

Get in touch with us today for that special perspective. 

We can help the healing and promote accountability. 

Let’s start in the right direction.

Gabriela.