Sexy and Sexual After Divorce
I had the greatest opportunity 2 weeks ago to be invited to do a webinar for the CaféD titled “Sexy and Sexual After Divorce… Navigating Sex and Intimacy After Divorce.” Let me tell you it was so much fun and super exciting!!! I had a blast and I loved all the questions and comments the attendees had.
When there is a divorce it affects many aspects of a persons life regardless if the divorced was wanted or not. One thing that’s for sure is that you loose your permanent sexual partner. This happens regardless of the quality or quantity of sex in the marriage. When you have a permanent partner there is always some potential for sex.
So most people go through one of 3 scenarios (there are a few others, but for most its these 3), as I like to put it. 1. They are ready to have sex with everyone. They are not looking for intimacy but rather sexual pleasure. 2. They are ready to find a new relationship and if it involves sex or not that is fine they are just ready to be with someone. Lastly 3., they don’t want to have anything to do with anybody and could care less about sex.
Now, this is fine, you are divorced you can do and see whom you please. However, people in #1 at some point wonder “Is there more,” “What am I doing,” “Am I really over my Ex?” and “I am tired of doing this.” There always comes a point where casual sex is not fulfilling. The dream and adventure that TV shows us does not transfer to reality. This group starts to find this out around the 2-year mark.
Our #2 group goes through something a little different. In about 6 to 9 months they start to feel used, or not sure why they are with the person they are with, or even concerned about why they divorced in the first place. This is a rough place to be and can lead to depression.
Lastly, #3 group can go through this for months and years. Some over time will attempt to “get out there” but after a long marriage or long post divorce it can be scary.
Each group has it challenges but one this is for sure. This does not have to be! Sex and intimacy is a valuable part of life! To go from marriage to divorce and then to looking for a new relationship where each of you will meet each other’s needs does not have to be a minefield. There are things each person can work on to make this next chapter an enriching one both physically and emotionally.
If you are separated, in the middle of a divorce, just divorced, or recently divorced you are far from being alone. I have a great group for both men and women to help you navigate this new chapter. It’s not a traditional Divorce Group. Its “Sexy and Sensual After Divorce” specifically geared to address sex and intimacy after divorce. You can register here.
As always I hope this blog has inspired you to connect with your sensuality.
Gabriela
