My wife had a baby and now our sex life is non-existent

Wait for a “green light” for sexual activity

How soon can you have sex after a baby? Doctors will recommend you wait at least four to six weeks before having sex again. This allows your body time to heal from giving birth. 

Some common issues that can make sex difficult if they’re not fully healed from:

• Vaginal tears
• Vaginal dryness
• Discharge from the vagina
• Nipple soreness
• Backaches and joint pain

Most of these will go away on their own. But there’s also the emotional aspects you have to consider.

There may be hormone changes, lack of sleep, body image issues, etc. Just because you may be physically up for sex again doesn’t mean you or your wife is emotionally ready. Take stock of both before jumping back into your sex life. 

Tips for rebuilding intimacy in the bedroom

Spend time together without the baby

For new parents this won’t be easy. But it’s still important.

You can do things like:

• Going for a walk together
• Having dinner together
• Couples yoga
• etc.

The important thing is to reconnect with your partner on a personal level, not just a parental one. It’s common for husbands and wives to feel like they are teammates after a newborn comes into their home and not a couple anymore. Reconnecting as a couple is a key first step to reintroducing intimacy into the bedroom. 

Compliment your partner

It’s always good to show appreciation for your partner! 

Take some time to show your wife why you were attracted to her in the first place. 

Get plenty of rest

Another challenge for new parents, I know.

But being tired makes it harder for you and your wife to connect. And just know that getting just one extra hour of sleep a night makes you 14% more likely to engage in sexual activity with your partner the next day.

So get some sleep and take an extra shift with the baby so that your wife can get her rest too. 

Touch the non-erotic parts of your partner’s body

Touching your partner can be a great way to reconnect with them physically without the pressure for sexual activity.

Think about giving things like back rubs or neck rubs—this’ll also help a new mother with her stress.

Talk to your partner

Few things beat communication. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling. 

Small check-ins before starting sexual activity or while you’re beginning sexual activity can make a world of difference. This places your relationship as a priority, rather than something standing in the way of a thing you want.

Talk to a healthcare provider

If orgasms prove difficult or painful, then it would be time to speak with a healthcare professional. 

If you and your partner are trying to reignite the spark in your bedroom, get in touch with me today. 

I’m ready to listen and help you grow your intimacy stronger than ever.

Gabriela.