How to talk with your partner about trying swinging
What do we mean by “swinging”?
At Blue Pearl we define swinging as a couple who engage in no-strings-attached sex with another couple or multiple couples. This can include a full swap of partners, soft swap or same room swinging. “Swinging” in this context refers to both the act of swapping partners with another couple, as well as the identity and sense of community that can come with it.
Not every relationship is built for swinging however. And that’s okay. But the best type of relationships for swinging are those that are built on top of strong foundations of communication, love, respect, and sex. If you feel that you and your partner would love swinging, here are some tips to get the conversation started.
Ways to talk to your partner about swinging
Figure out your “why”
Before you dive into the conversation, the first step is to figure out why you’re interested in swinging. This is an important step. You don’t want to start the conversation only to find out that you’re personally unsatisfied with your sex life as that could put a lot of pressure on your partner to accept something they may not want to do.
Assess your current sex life
Couples who aren’t sexually adventurous may want to pause before jumping right into swinging. If you or your partner aren’t at least engaged in satisfying your curiosities with each other first, it may be helpful to start broadening your horizons together before you incorporate other people.
Find the right time to talk
It’s always important to find a neutral time to speak with your partner about topics like this. That way you can address any potential feelings of insecurity, shame, guilt or embarrassment while not feeling naked (both literally and figuratively). Schedule a time to speak with your partner so you both come prepared.
Things to remember when talking about swinging
Focus on the togetherness
When speaking with your partner, try to remember that this is something for the both of you to try, not just for you. Swinging is about exploring things as equal partners and a united couple.
Ease your partner into the idea
If you think your partner may not immediately jump into swinging, try introducing the idea in another way. For example, you can try sharing fun infographics or videos on the topic with them here and there and bringing them up in discussion.
Focus on swinging as an addition to your relationship
Remember, swinging is something for the both of you to get excited about to try. Whether or not you go through with it, be sure to verbally show appreciation for how your relationship is already going.
80/20 rule
You should always listen more than you talk. When discussing swinging with a partner, try to listen to any concerns, fears, or emotions that may come up during the conversation. It’ll allow you to learn more about where they’re at and ways to explore.
Blue Pearl Therapeutic
If you’re unsure how to broach the subject of swinging with your partner, then look no further. I can provide y’all with that objective perspective where desires meet action.
Click here to schedule your free initial session
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Gabriela