How to get your partner to play out your sexual fantasy
It’s normal to have fantasies
Right out the gate, let’s be honest.
It’s normal to have sexual fantasies. They’re not weird or bad and are certainly not anything to be ashamed of. They’re normal.
And there’s nothing wrong with you for wanting to explore your fantasies.
Got it?
Good 🙂
Tips for introducing sexual fantasies into your relationship
If you’re worried about introducing one of your fantasies to your partner, that’s okay. That doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with the fantasy or with your wanting to explore it.
Instead, think of this as an opportunity to learn more about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised 😉
Talk to your partner
It’s easy and normal to feel shame or embarrassment for talking about your fantasies. Our partners may not react positively. But it’s still important to be vulnerable and open with your partner about what you fantasize about.
You can always start by letting your partner know that you enjoy what you have. A fantasy isn’t a replacement—it’s an addition to what already works well.
Introduce play
Having a fantasy is like playing. But playing requires imagination, engagement and fun. If you feel that you can’t quite jump into your fantasy just yet, maybe you can introduce elements of play into your sex life to start.
Play allows you to work up to your fantasy in safe steps where both you and your partner can explore at the desired pace.
Talk about adding something new
Talking and being open with your partner isn’t a one-time thing, y’know. Even after you’ve involved a bit more play into your sex life, you and your partner should be talking about things like:
- What you liked
- What you didn’t like as much
- What you’d like to try next time
Remember to emphasize that the fantasy is something you want to do *with* your partner. They should feel like they’re a part of your pleasure.
What if your partner rejects your fantasy?
Now neither you or I are fools. Not everyone will be cool with every fantasy. If you try to talk with your partner about your fantasy and they reject it or negatively react, you can always try another time.
When you bring it back up, you can explore why your partner reacted the way they did. Maybe the fantasy doesn’t sit right with them. Maybe they need time to open up. Conversation is important.
It also helps you set clear boundaries around both of your needs and wants.
Gabriella