Do Women Have Higher Sex Drives Than Men?
A widely held belief in our culture is that men have higher sex drives than women. Y’all, not only is this completely untrue, but I’ve met lots of women who feel the opposite is more accurate. Based on the cisgender, heterosexual couples I treat as a sex therapist, it’s usually the woman who feels more sex deprived or wants to have sex more often.
I can also tell you that a woman’s sex drive can grow stronger as she ages while her male partner may begin to have trouble getting aroused or maintaining an erection. But this doesn’t necessarily mean the woman has a higher sex drive than her male partner, or there’s nothing that can be done.
Why Your Partner’s Sex Drive Has Slowed
Just like women, a man’s sex drive can be significantly impacted by external factors like stress, anxiety, depression, and physical exhaustion. These things tend to become more intense with age as our responsibilities and concerns increase.
As if work, finances, and maintaining a household weren’t stressful enough, starting a family takes stress to a whole other level. For many men, becoming a parent is so stressful that it can consume their entire mind. Their own needs and desires are on the backburner until further notice. This makes it difficult to even think about sex, which is vital for arousal.
Speaking of starting a family, men can have trouble feeling sexual with their partners after watching them give birth (true and more common than you may think, ladies). This can be a downright traumatic experience for a man, inhibiting his libido for a lengthy period.
How to Get Your Man’s Sex Drive Back
The first thing I tell my female patients about getting more action from their male partner is to be patient. Men are human too, and they may need time to adjust to their new lives as parents or older adults.
It’s also important to foster open lines of communication. That means talking about each other’s physical needs and listening carefully to each other’s words. You may find out your partner needs something different from you in order to get in the mood.
On that note, even seemingly small acts – like sharing sexual thoughts and ruminations via text – may gradually help your partner regain his sex drive. Heck, you might be able to expedite this process with changes in your daily routine, like going out for a dinner date, catching a movie, or spending a stay-cation night in a nearby hotel.
Is Your Male Partner Having Trouble Keeping Pace with Your Sex Drive?
If you feel like your male partner cannot keep up with your sex drive, don’t panic because a number of factors could be at play. My job as a Board Certified Sex Therapist is to help you uncover these issues and work through them so you can enjoy a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Counseling also gives you the opportunity to talk about how differences in sex drive are impacting your relationship.
For help navigating differences in sex drive, contact me at Blue Pearl Therapeutic today and schedule your FREE consultation.
Many Happy Endings,
Gabriela
p.s. I’m offering in-person and virtual sessions in Austin, Texas as well as virtual sessions for those living in Texas or Florida.