Consent and Sex: Why You Always Need It, Even with a Longtime Partner

There’s a big (huge) misconception that sexual consent only applies to one-night stands and short-term relationships. People tend to think that once you officially enter a lo1ng-term relationship, consent is implied from that point on. 

This couldn’t be further from the truth. 

By neglecting to ask for your partner’s consent, you could be unintentionally pressuring them into being intimate with you. That’s why consent is an important part of any relationship, regardless of how long you’ve been together. 

Why Consent is Important

Consent can change at any minute. It can change in the heat of the moment, it can vacillate repeatedly in the course of just a few moments, it can be given and then taken away or vice versa. For any number of reasons, you and your partner can be on completely different sexual wavelengths – and just never meeting up at the right time together. This can happen to any couple, at any time. 

The truth is – consent is sexy. 

Having the ability to ensure that both you and your partner(s) are on the same wavelength and both eager and excited to physically demonstrate your attraction and intimacy for one another is down right sexy. 

Society may tell us that it’s hot to go in hard and fast, and pausing for consent isn’t sexy – but if there is one thing Bridgerton has brought to the mainstream – is that consent is sexy AF. 

If consent isn’t given, it’s just as sexy to back off and hold off until it is given. It’s pretty much the greatest two mantras when it comes to sex are related to consent:

• No means no
• Consent is Sexy 

Consent Isn’t Just About Sex

Of course, consent doesn’t just apply to sex and intimacy. It includes everything you share in a relationship, whether it’s a car, a television, an email address, or each other’s bodies. Every time you ask for your partner’s consent, you are essentially telling this person, “I know this is something we share and I want to continually respect you and us.” 

Consent is ultimately a gesture of respect. Think about it: We respect strangers enough to ask for consent, “can I pet your dog?”- so why shouldn’t extend that same respect to the people we love? 

If you’re concerned that your partner may be feeling pressured or obligated to be intimate with you, give me a call and let’s schedule a free 15-minute consultation. 

Yours,

Gaby