What is a Mixed-Orientation Relationship?

You don’t have to be a sex and intimacy therapist to know that romantic relationships are complex. Two people can be madly in love despite having completely different interests or personalities. Sometimes, even differences in sexual orientation cannot stop two people from becoming attracted to one another and falling in love. 

This is known as a Mixed-Orientation Relationship. In most cases, one partner identifies as heterosexual, and the other partner identifies as somewhere on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. 

You might be thinking: How could this possibly work? Yes, there are challenges, but the truth is, plenty of mixed-orientation relationships are happy and healthy. The key is developing a mutual understanding of each partner’s emotional and sexual desires, and that’s only possible through open communication. 

Know Your Desires 

A relationship works when both partners feel fulfilled in all essential aspects (emotionally and sexually are what we are specifically talking about here, but there are countless other aspects of course). However, you can’t fulfill your partner’s needs if you don’t know what they are. 

This is why it’s recommended for mixed-orientation couples to take an inventory of their sexual and emotional needs and desires, since there’s bound to be at least a little confusion in these areas. What is each partner looking for in the relationship? What kind of acts of intimacy are important to each partner? It’s best to be as specific as possible. 

In terms of sexual needs, it’s also recommended to take an inventory of what each partner doesn’t desire, since you don’t want to make any assumptions here, either. 

Flexibility and Compromise

By getting everything out in the open, the couple can see where they differ emotionally or sexually. From here, they can decide if it’s possible to make peace with these differences. If both partners can embrace and respect each other’s orientations, they can find workable solutions, like setting boundaries and making compromises. More importantly, they’ll build a deeper emotional connection, which is crucial for any relationship’s survival. 

Odds are, some flexibility will be required by both partners. But, if the connection is strong enough, both partners may be willing to accept this challenge and agree that it’s not stressful enough to end the relationship.

Like Always, Communication is Key

While mixed orientation couples certainly have some unique challenges to navigate, many couples have managed to foster deeply fulfilling and committed relationships by developing compromises that ensure both partners’ needs are met. 

What else do these couples have in common? Open communication. Mixed orientation couples who are able to discuss their needs, desires, concerns, and boundaries are unquestionably on the right track towards a successful relationship. 

Having these conversations can be difficult if one partner is afraid to share their feelings, possibly out of fear that the relationship could end. Sex and intimacy therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space where both partners are encouraged to communicate openly and face these fears head-on. You may be able to work through differences in sexual needs, but the first step has to be making these differences clear with open communication. 

So, if you are having difficulties navigating a mixed orientation relation, please contact me at Blue Pearl Therapeutic and set up a FREE consultation.